I am gonna say 262, by rounding up. But not bad! It was a very busy weekend, and busy weekends have been really hard on my in the past. To end up down on the whole - that is a victory!
Friday was pretty laid back - it's the kind of evening I long for. Nancy, Walt, Frannie, Rut, and me took a nice walk - about 5 miles - with the dogs. Rut even kept up, for the most part. He didn't whine, but he said just these two things: "Mommy, my legs just can't move any more" and "Daddy, let's not do this again". I told him I was very proud of him.
Then we went to petsmart, where I realized too late I was being bait and switched by nancy. We went for a no pull collar - 25 dollars, and left with 220 dollars and an 8 week commitment to training. Oh well. I guess all days can't really be perfect.
Saturday was so busy. It started early with dog stuff, then more moving crap from upstairs to down, then our first counseling session. Nancy liked Phyllis, our counselor, which is a relief. Our problem with counseling has always been that we look like this happy go lucky married couple when we're in these sessions. We joke around, and finish each other's stories, etc. We were able to voice a few of our issues, but not all of them. In the end Phyllis did answer the biggest question, and the answer, while not as awful as I expected, was still disappointing.
Phyllis "are you in love with the other person".
Me: "Yes"
Nancy: "I am not sure."
She did put on her wedding ring again. I have not brought it up. Part of me is happy and relieved. The other part is wondering what is her weapon of choice next time? I am not at a healthy place at all - I know that.
So then we move on - drop the older boys off at a birthday party and head off for lunch (Nancy gets blood sugar swings when she has not eaten well, and everyone must bow to her needs until she is satisfied). We got food at Martin's and headed off to softball to arrive just in time - and be like, the first people on our team there. Frances' team is coached by two families who would be late for their own funerals, and apparently the rest of the team has taken to follow their lead. We got enough people for a team finally and they played in a dust bowl - there were times when the wind blew up, I couldn't see anyone in the infield for the dirt and dust.
After that, it was home, then I went out with frances and rut in tow, to pick up the boys from the party, and we shopped for a Mothers day present for Nancy. We finally decided on a massage from the gym, and flowers, which I promised Frannie I would pick up on Sunday so they would be most fresh.
We came home, I helped with more things - loading the car with stuff for goodwill, moving things from upstairs to down, and we took the stuff to goodwill. Afterward, we went to a fundraising silent auction for our church's youth group. Our kids aren't going this year - we chose boy scout camp over this, this year. But we did pick up babysitting, a reading buddy for frances, handyman work from the youth minister, and a teeth whitening for Nancy. We got into a funny bidding war with someone for the handyman work. We really will need it if we want to move at any point.
So it ended on an expensive but fun note.
Sunday - I got up at 6 and went to wal mart, to get flowers and a gluten free cake mix for nancy. I got home and started the cake, set up the presents, and tried to relax a little on the computer. But Nancy was up early, wanting to go to early service. We got everyone up, presented the gifts...the cake got done in just the nick of time so we could pull it out and have it waiting when we got back.
Sunday School is like, my dream class. The book of Genesis taught by a fellow layman, who's not a "Spiritual Farm Boy" as my mom likes to call fundies. Charles is very smart, well read, amazingly tactful, and willing to examine any questions we have. I of course, brought up - why two versions of the creation? Why does God even need to have a tree of wisdom? Does he need to eat from it to be wise? If not, why does it even exist? Fun, fun stuff, and we didn't even make it past chapter three. I find myself eagerly waiting on next week's class - something I haven't EVER experienced before. The Old Testament is something I have always been interested in, so starting from the beginning is perfect for me. Of course we have our farm boys who won't open their minds "The Bible is the Holy Word of God! I don't care if it makes no sense!" but Charles is brilliant at making sure he isn't offending those people, while informing us.
Out of Sunday School and off to lunch. We tried a new Japanese restaurant, which everyone seemed to like. Walt like sushi...well all but the raw fish part. So he pulled out his tuna from his tuna rolls, but ate all else. Nancy liked it too, so we may have a date place. It's close - plus! It's mid-priced - plus! It has gluten free items - plus! A big hit.
So we get home, and I cut the grass. Front and back . We don't have a huge yard, but cutting the grass always kills my allergies and I end up coughing, sneezing, and puffy. So I come back to the house and help nancy carry things down. Afterward, I try to rest just a little - maybe 15 mins. That sends Nancy into a fit and she comes down complaining about how she's doing everything. Fine. I head off to Lowes to get paint (remember painting? YAY!) So, I get paint, some supplies, etc, and come home. I open the can and paint the whole long hall into Frannie's room alone. Fine with me. I still have to do some edge work, but it's 90% done. nancy and Ollie took off these silly age inappropriate butterflies from his room. That's fine - I didn't want to do that at all, so painting - not so bad. I then painted the molding all the way down the stairs. Complaining seemed to end, for the most part.
I tool the boys to youth group, came home - moved some more stuff, made dinner (steaks on the grill and a microwave ready cheese, potato and broccoli mix - which was yummmmmm). We ate, then I cleaned up a bit from dinner, and was able to sit down a bit. Maybe ten minutes. Then I had to pick up the boys, and drop off a check for the preschool teacher, which nancy had forgotten to take all last week. (Each time I say these things, I know it sounds like I am complaining - which I am I know but not for the reasons you may think. I complain because I am told over and over again that I do nothing - I am a good for nothing oaf who never helps around the house or with the family). I got the boys and we came home.
When we got home, I was completely honest about my needs. I needed, for my own personal growth, to begin to learn Objective C and XCode - AKA iPhone/iPad programming. With my job in jeopardy, I want to move into a new and exciting field, or at least not be completely ignorant to it. So, with a number of distractions and grumbling from Nancy, I set up a bed for Rutledge on the couch, and sat on the sofa and wrote my first application. It did nothing but I felt good about becoming familiar with the IDE.
I came upstairs and Nancy and the boys were watching tv - she was probably pissed at me for not reading to them. She reads to them every night, but her voice has been messed up from a cold. She didn't say anything but I am sure I will hear about it. I am willing to take that hit, because it wasn't like I was surfing baseball scores - I was doing professional development.
And that brings us to today. I am happy with weight loss, still unhappy with my marriage situation. I am doing things that I don't want to do - but have to - like painting - without complaint. My complaints are with my wife's approach to my helping. If it isn't all done on her schedule (NOW NOW NOW) then it isn't right.
I will be accompanying my family camping not next week, but the one following, and the one after that. Camping is another of the things I do not like to do. Dirty cooking, dirty sleeping, dirty bodies is no way to go through life IMHO. I love to hike. I like to bike (I wish I liked it better). But when I sleep, eat, and dress, I like to be clean. However, I am looking forward to spending time with the kids, and who knows, maybe even Nancy. That depends on how she brings herself to the event. I am determined not to complain.
OHHHHH - oh my god I almost forgot! On Friday I went out to lunch with a customer at the place I work. He has been divorced twice, but only once with child support/alimony. He is paying $2000 a month for two kids! I make 8 k a month, and that's gross income - where they calculate child support and alimony! Once all stuff is removed off the top, I take home less than 6 k. If, because I have 4 kids and a wife who doesn't work - I would have to pay say, 4 k a month, it would leave me like, 24,000 a year to live on. I don't have too many needs, but shouldn't it be wrong to live like a taco bell cashier because your wife doesn't love you any more? Nancy - who went farther in school than I did, has never felt any desire to work. I have never insisted that she not work - I often encouraged her to. However, she insisted on home schooling, and staying home. I supported her decision. And because I supported it, it seems as though I would be punished for it in court or mediation. After working my butt off to get to nearly a 6 figure salary, I would be living like a college student in a crappy apartment. No wonder men experience much more depression and health issues after a divorce. According to my wife, I am a failure for not making over 100k a year yet. Imagine how crappy I would look to someone if I were bringing home a whopping 24k a year! Hello chastity.
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