It's been a while since I posted. At least one more camping trip by me, and a bunch of close releases of software (what I do for a living) have cramped my posting style.
As for the relationship front - it's not really getting better. I was open and honest in the way I felt I was treated when I was told we were going to have another child ten years ago, and that hasn't really helped. I am not sure I thought it would, but I wanted it to be known that when I was told that we were going to have another child or she would leave, at nearly the beginning of even talking about conceiving again, I felt coerced and blackmailed. I don't think I am wrong.
However, she took this to mean that I didn't want Frances, our daughter, and I wish she were never born. Neither is the case. All I wanted was some kind of better communication. I asked her in counselling this week: "When have you ever really wanted something and I have not given it to you?" I guess she was taken aback, because she could not answer. I am not sure if that means she was surprised that I was right, or that I am so wrong in her mind, that she couldn't answer in any way that was productive. Maybe this week's counselling will shed some light on that.
I have looked at apartments, and have spoken with a divorce mediator, who is ready to see us, should we get that far. I will not be caught completely unprepared.
In the meantime, I am doing all I am asked, and more. If this fails, I refuse to have it be because I didn't try my hardest to keep it from failing.
In the end of year insanity that is the final ballet perfomances of the season for our daughter, camping, softball, and the beginning of summer activities, and having a ton of work in addition, I have had no time to reflect on much. I also haven't had much time to eat well or exercise. It's good that I haven't flown back into the 270's.
Other than that, not much else to report!
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